I want to go home. I have been experiencing this strange sensation since my injury. It’s strange because home is literally the only place I’ve been in 3 months.
How can you be homesick when you’re already in the place you’re yearning for?
I asked my spouse that and they said simply, “you miss feeling at home in your body.” Such a powerful statement. There’s so much truth in it. Then they recommended that I write a letter to my body, especially since this isn’t the first time I’ve dealt with this sensation during chronic pain & illness.
So, here’s my letter. It’s abridged for clarity and because no one needs to read the beginning where I just rant a lot (it was cathartic p.s.). It was a powerful exercise and I recommend this to anyone who needs a little help, clarity, patience, or readjustment of expectation during chronic illness and pain. And don’t forget that it’s totally okay to rant and write without judgment.
Dear Body,
I want to ask you why this is happening. I want to make meaning from this experience. But more than anything I want to feel aligned with you. I want to feel freedom within you. I want to explore the world and feel love from outside-in and inside-out. So maybe I should say that I love you and I’m grateful for you and you’re not perfect but perfect doesn’t exist and I’ll happily be a part of you and vice-versa. Please help me find ways to do the things I enjoy in life like swimming and going outside and watching birds and getting my hair cut and driving.
Please know that i love you and I’m here for you and I know you’re here for me and we will get through this together. I’ve been trying to listen to your messages for a while now and I hope you’ll hear mine: I hope.
